wait patiently

So we are doing better around here. I listened to this message today, about not creating an Ishmael, about not seeking out Haggar. And it is exactly what I needed to hear. For me, this is where Satan gets me good, it's my "blind spot" as Jody would say. Haggar is my weakness.

In context, God gave Sarah and Abraham a promise, of children (which is quite fitting in this circumstance) that would create nations. And when they were really old they still

didn't have kids, so they sought out Haggar, this was within the law, to use a maid servant in order to have children if the husband and wife could not have children. And thus, Ishmael was born.

I have always wanted my children from adoption. Growing up I often told my parents I didn't want to have kids, and I meant it. I didn't want to have kids. But I always wanted to adopt. When I was little I remember begging my parents for an older brother, they were confused, until I told them they would need to adopt him. That wasn't part of God's plan for my family then but I know that He has placed this promise on my heart for my family.

But now, as I reach one hundred (Not literally 100 but I will be 26 tomorrow! And, we have been at this process for one year now, and we aren't even done with our paper work, we should be getting our babies soon! So 100 seems appropriate in this circumstance!) My tendency is to seek out Haggar. And in this case Haggar would be seeking other ways to grow our family, the family God has promised us. Culturally it would not be looked down upon if I were to get pregnant, or us go for foster to adopt within our county, or something easier! In fact, it would be just like Haggar, it is culturally expected.

See I feel like Sarah now. Imagine her telling her friends, "God promised us that

I would bear children, not a child but children."

"Sarah, you can't have sex with Abraham any more, you guys might die! Or at least he will have a heart attack or something, we're OLD sweetie, maybe God meant something else, something figuratively?!"

See, I look crazy, like Sarah. And I feel crazy like Sarah did too. But I want to learn from Sarah, and not seek out Haggar, but wait patiently for God to deliver on His promise. Even if it seems crazy! Because at this point it seems crazy, I could accomplish this end result much more efficiently God, and it is within the law, I promise. But God keeps telling us to wait.

God spoke to David months ago. And we have clung to this word in multiple areas of our lives. And we continue to cling to it today in regards to our children and our family. God said,

"You can act and I will wait. Or you can wait and I will act."

So here we are, waiting on the promise of children from nations. And we will wait patiently for God to act. And I promise to not seek out Haggar. Apparently God does not need me to be his associate, He does have it figured out. So I will wait.

As I wrote that this song came on:

hungry

hungry I come to Youfor I know You satisfy
I am emptybut I know Your love does not run dry
and I wait
and I waitso I wait for You
so I wait for You

chorus
I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

broken I run to You
for Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch restores my life
so I'll wait for You
so I'll wait for You
I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for
Oh, I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

and I wait for you
and I wait for you
and I wait for you
and I wait

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of meJesus, You're all this heart is living for
Oh, I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

hungry I come to you,
for I know You satisfy

So if you want to know how to pray. Pray for patience and grace. And pray that the closing of our house is supernaturally expedited!

And as we wait patiently for the Lord to act, we enjoy every precious moment we can with our promise I didn't know I ever wanted!