Together for Adoption!

Guess where I am going... the Together for Adoption Conference! I am really excited.

Now that I have my degree as a social worker, and we are moving forward on different fronts in our family's path to adoption I am really excited to see how God speaks to me at this conference.

My greatest heart cry is for the orphan. That is why I changed my career path and got my degree in social work, that is why we are hoping to adopt many times. That is why I am helping to start an adoption group at our church. But I know that there is more in my heart. I am excited to be staying with some amazing women, to be surrounded by people who are like minded, and to just see where God pulls me. I am so ready and so willing for this next step, and I feel that this conference is going to be a huge part of the next chapter for us!

Let me know if you will be there too, that way I can meet you!

On a dorky note, I cannot BELIEVE that I am going to get to hear Karyn Purvis for a whole day! She is a hero of mine, and the reason I keep trying to convince David to move us to Texas while I go to grad school under her! (By the way, that isn't working, and it never will, we won't be moving to Texas!)

Unspeakable.

“I’ve told the Lord I want to be an obedient servant, and He shot back, ‘And are you willing to face grief and pain or whatever it takes for Me to make you that?’ Even though I felt unable, I said, ‘What choice do I have? I know too much to drop the ball now. There’s no turning back.’ I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid. But He has brought me this far and already my joy is unspeakable.”

( Elisabeth Elliot)

Marinate on this.

Every detail works to your advantage and to God’s glory: more and more grace, more and more people, more and more praise!

2 Corinthians 4:15 MSG

Garage Sale

From day one I talked about the herd of elephants, our tribe, our people, not just our family's but our friend-family's. The other elephants we need to encourage us, to keep us moving in the drought, the ones who play with us, and cry with us. (It was in this post.) Well this weekend the herd came together and raised over $1300 towards our adoption! Can you believe it?

Some of the people that we couldn't do life without helped out so much, so many people donated to our garage sale, so many people came to help. And we were so blessed. Tears when I think about the love that surrounds us, and waits for our babies to come home to.

One of those people is Laurie. This is Laurie and her husband Bill (who brought us breakfast burritos and smiles so early in the morning!) at our garage sale.

I think Laurie did more for this than I did! She was working circles around my mom and I all day on Friday! She is the lady who cries for my baby's in Ethiopia, she is the one who prays for them, and loves them already, she is the one who I call when I think I can't take this process any longer, she is that one. I stopped by her house on Friday night, after our first day, it was about 8 pm, and she was in bed, I believe it! She worked SOOO hard for our babies. She is one of the ladies who this couldn't happen without.

My mom said it perfectly on Friday morning at about 6:30 am, she said, "I thank God for Laurie everyday, because you need two of us." And that's it, these two ladies support me and love me, they support my family, my husband, my babes, even the ones they can't hold yet. We couldn't do it without them.

Thank you to everyone who helped us this weekend, your support and love means so much to us, and we can't imagine our tribe without you in it!

wait patiently

So we are doing better around here. I listened to this message today, about not creating an Ishmael, about not seeking out Haggar. And it is exactly what I needed to hear. For me, this is where Satan gets me good, it's my "blind spot" as Jody would say. Haggar is my weakness.

In context, God gave Sarah and Abraham a promise, of children (which is quite fitting in this circumstance) that would create nations. And when they were really old they still

didn't have kids, so they sought out Haggar, this was within the law, to use a maid servant in order to have children if the husband and wife could not have children. And thus, Ishmael was born.

I have always wanted my children from adoption. Growing up I often told my parents I didn't want to have kids, and I meant it. I didn't want to have kids. But I always wanted to adopt. When I was little I remember begging my parents for an older brother, they were confused, until I told them they would need to adopt him. That wasn't part of God's plan for my family then but I know that He has placed this promise on my heart for my family.

But now, as I reach one hundred (Not literally 100 but I will be 26 tomorrow! And, we have been at this process for one year now, and we aren't even done with our paper work, we should be getting our babies soon! So 100 seems appropriate in this circumstance!) My tendency is to seek out Haggar. And in this case Haggar would be seeking other ways to grow our family, the family God has promised us. Culturally it would not be looked down upon if I were to get pregnant, or us go for foster to adopt within our county, or something easier! In fact, it would be just like Haggar, it is culturally expected.

See I feel like Sarah now. Imagine her telling her friends, "God promised us that

I would bear children, not a child but children."

"Sarah, you can't have sex with Abraham any more, you guys might die! Or at least he will have a heart attack or something, we're OLD sweetie, maybe God meant something else, something figuratively?!"

See, I look crazy, like Sarah. And I feel crazy like Sarah did too. But I want to learn from Sarah, and not seek out Haggar, but wait patiently for God to deliver on His promise. Even if it seems crazy! Because at this point it seems crazy, I could accomplish this end result much more efficiently God, and it is within the law, I promise. But God keeps telling us to wait.

God spoke to David months ago. And we have clung to this word in multiple areas of our lives. And we continue to cling to it today in regards to our children and our family. God said,

"You can act and I will wait. Or you can wait and I will act."

So here we are, waiting on the promise of children from nations. And we will wait patiently for God to act. And I promise to not seek out Haggar. Apparently God does not need me to be his associate, He does have it figured out. So I will wait.

As I wrote that this song came on:

hungry

hungry I come to Youfor I know You satisfy
I am emptybut I know Your love does not run dry
and I wait
and I waitso I wait for You
so I wait for You

chorus
I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

broken I run to You
for Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch restores my life
so I'll wait for You
so I'll wait for You
I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for
Oh, I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

and I wait for you
and I wait for you
and I wait for you
and I wait

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of meJesus, You're all this heart is living for
Oh, I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

hungry I come to you,
for I know You satisfy

So if you want to know how to pray. Pray for patience and grace. And pray that the closing of our house is supernaturally expedited!

And as we wait patiently for the Lord to act, we enjoy every precious moment we can with our promise I didn't know I ever wanted!

One Step Forward, Two steps Back

So, we're a little discouraged. Hopeful, but still a bit sad.

We found out yesterday that our file with Gladney has been put on "hold" until our other house sells. Which should be soon, as we have five offers, but with the bank, there is no telling when this could happen! Optimistically, two months and we can "move forward" but by "move forward" we mean, send in our last government form, the I600, which takes approximately three months, THEN we can get everything approved, THEN we will be on the wait list.

I know, I know, all the positive thoughts should go here. But I am just sad, that's all. I was ready to adopt about ten years ago, and we started this process one year ago today, and now, we probably still have another year to go.

I have been trying to stay positive as of late, so on easter I kept thinking, next easter our family will look so different, our babies will be home. On mother's day, I just kept thinking how different I would feel next year on mother's day.

Now I am thinking about what I should have done. If I had known, I would have applied to grad school and gotten my MSW out of the way over the next year, now it's too late. I would have taken the job I was offered, I didn't thinking I would be going to Africa a few times in the next six to eight months!

Now, I am not sure what God wants from me, my son will be in school full time in the fall, I imagined my self decorating new children's rooms and then running around after a few little ethiopians. Now I will be...

I'm sad, the weather isn't helping, or my husband being out of town. But I have a fun few days coming up, but I will still feel a void, we aren't moving forward, we aren't moving toward our babies, I feel like we are moving back, one step forward, two steps back, maybe that is my new theme song.

Quick Update

Here's the cliff notes, no real time to digest things at this point.

On the way to church Sunday morning Tre had a stroke in the back of the car. Unresponsive, right eye and mouth completely drooped, drooling, and me crying! We rushed him to Children's Hospital where they determined he had a Bell's Palsy, which means an i

nfection of the nerve in his face that controls the muscles. As we continued to wait for other doctors and tests his face began to heal (also the same time church as praying for us:). They went form going to do emergency surgery and giving him an IV while awake (which Children's doesn't like to do unless it's an emergency) to not really knowing what to do because he had healed so quickly. They ended up giving him a dose of IV antibiotics and sending us home. Today I called the nurse's line for follow up as requested. Long story short, they are going to do surgery tomorrow to put tubes in his ears. The face is almost completely normal but not 100% and his equilibrium is off a bit. We are not stressed about the surgery at all. But I sorta think when we get there they will bag it. Either way, please pray for Tre's continued healing and that tomorrow he is even better than today. (Surgery will be at 12:30 MST tomorrow afternoon, unless cancelled!)

This is Tre when we got to the hospital yesterday.

This is him this morning.

And he looks almost normal now.